Tough

Its been a tough week. Writing this here since the one person I'd like to talk to apparently can't make any time for me.

Why does a celebrities death affect me so much?

Its because this was a person I admired and looked up to. I don't fight the same demons he did (have never even touched drugs in my entire life) But I do fight my own demons. Severe and crippling depression and PTSD. I looked up to someone like Cory who was always very open about the demons he faced. He was beating them. Had everything going for him. And then in an instant they got the better of him and now he's gone. Just... a blink of an eye, one bad decision and a role model is all of a sudden gone.

I'm terrified of that happening to myself. Most days go pretty well and then all of a sudden it seems everything hits me all at once. And then I'm drowning and can't find my way out again.  There's no ryhme or reason to it at all. I don't even really have a reason for the depression.  I really do have a good life.

Blah. Not sure where I'm going with this. Just needed to write it out.

Life is a little crazy

But its a good sort of crazy!

We have 3 Shepherd girls now. Miss Roxy came into our lives a few weeks ago. Her owners had a last minute move and the home they had lined up for her fell through so I offered to take her and find her a home.

Should have known that she was already home. :) She fits in so well here with us and is finally getting over her depression over loosing her family that she had known for 4 years. I couldn't do that to her again. So she's not going anywhere.

Maeve is slowly getting better with the submissive peeing. She can be an absolute brat though lately haha.

Sasha will be taking her public access test next week. She is doing fantastic with 'off leash' training and I barely have to even touch the leash when we're out now. I even got complimented on her training and good behavior by a CCI trainer the other day.

Love my girls :)

Mourning

RIP Corey Monteith.

Make fun of me all you want, but Glee is a show that completely changed my life.  Yes most of the episodes are silly and to some people stupid, but if you look closely there is a lesson to be learned from each episode.  A few of them are obvious like the episode they did on suicide, but for the most part and for me personally the show makes you think.

This show saved me. It changed how I look at things in life. I never really cared for Corey's character Finn most of the time (I identify mostly with Lea's character Rachel) but Finn is what made Glee. And now he's gone. :(

Their cover of 'Keep Holding On' literally saved my life. I was at a very low place in my life around the time that came out and the song and the show made me realize just how precious life is. That song will forever hold a place in my heart. Keep holding on Glee cast and Gleeks everywhere.

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/gleecast/keepholdingon.html